.Thursday, August 13, 2009 ' 2:09 PM Y
How i wish i could look inside my heart and see whether you are the one i love the most.. When someone that i like loves me so........ much, and give me all the love that he has, the problem is with me.. Many kinds of problem. Starting with disagreements from family.. Then, my confuse heart. Until now, i had never feel that my love for my sayang is fully 100 percent. And i don't know why? But when i love someone deeply, that guy will not love me, or maybe attached or even kept someone else in his heart. Odd sak! He is too perfect for my life! He is too romantic, too caring, and too nice! For the whole of 1 month and 21 days we are together, he was never mad at me before. We never fight....yes, some people may think it is good what? But if people can advice their friends that fighting in a relationship is NORMAL, then what about my relationship? Is it normal? huh?And for dearest, dearest sayang :I'm sorry for hurting you silently. I'm sorry for betraying you silently. I'm sorry that i can't love you more than 80 percent of my heart. Maybe you're not the one i'm finding. Maybe you're not the one i want. Maybe you're just not suitable for me, my heart and my pathetic life. Please just find someone else to prevent your heart pain before i break it. I know either i will leave you or you leave me, one dayyy... Please, if you want to scold me or hurt me do it, but don't you ever ignore me sayang. Because you yourself know how pathetic our situation are. And thanks sayang for loving me damn muchhhh..i love you.Yesterday:You messaged me and said that you pity me? You said because every single day i woke up in the morning and came back late and after that i need to study alot. And i'm doing this for my future and for OUR FUTURE? Since when i'm doing my exams for us? I don't know which hantuuu enter my body and i suddenly feel that i hate you for saying that. So i said, what's the link between me studying hard and our future? Sayang, i'm really sorry to say this.. And you also say that i shouldn't go to my 'another' kampoong so that you can meet me everyday, when i'm having my holidays in October. But, i said i miss my realtives at the other kampong too, so whatever it is i'm still going. And still you are not angry with me?!!! Whatever shit. I'm tired.Labels: ♥tiredd of all thissss♥
Natasha Andiny Dewi Putri
